At All Times. 
At all times
I have a bottle of pills
and a notebook with me
the pills I swallow
they keep me numb
and into a book
I drain my veins
of thoughts of you
the doctor says that this will help
ease you out my system
and flush you from my thoughts
but between the poison and bloodletting
I am still as broken as ever
no matter how snug the straitjacket
no matter how strong the convulsing
the pieces don't seem to stick like before
through a tangled mess of misfiring connections and garbled words
I realize that I am nowhere near
being over you.

Before.

Were you once like me

long ago

before you grew cold?

Before you stopped opening your heart

unguarded to love?

Before someone hurt you so badly

that you decided it was better

to hurt first

than be the one who hurt?

Sleepless.
I dare not sleep
on the places
you used to touch
cold sheets on skin
cutting like ice
and a tornado
of swirling goosebumps
rise and fall like empires that rise and fall
collapsing into a cloud of dust
and the ghost of you rises
to haunt the spaces you used to fill
in a mirage of a used to be.