Every Ounce Of You.
You speak in cryptic kisses ( k i s s m e ) that you left littered
and staining my skin, black and blue from blows that once
caressed, now linger as phantom memories of phantom hands
that make me come undone. And those days, although so far
away from where I am, make me feel like a tourist in my own
body. One who stands barefoot outside in the cold, looking in
through the cracked and dirty windows of my weary eyes. But
would you return like a shark who smells blood or would you
wait like a predator in the shadows for me to completely
fall
   to
     pieces?
When all I am is a fusion of crossed wires and mixed
      signals, a train barrelling through a dark tunnel of insecurities
         and everything you ever said I was when I knew full well that
             I wasn't. Muscle and bone and marrow and guts, beating and
                 thumping in tune but out of sync to empty words and nonplussed
                      emotions. A heart that races for no apparent reason and familiar
                            faces carved into stone. Flowing through a river of blood like a
                                 drunken sailor, with too much pride to ask for help but too much
                                      guilt to set sail for home. So as a fool would do, I will quiver
                                          as I drag my calloused heart towards the edge of the
                                             mountain top where I will squint, and staring into the
                                                 setting sun place one foot in front of the other as
                                                      it singes my skin to the colour of my sins.